In Heaven, everything is fine.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Good Gracious!
This jam is off the hook! Goodness! "Let me see you-look at that bootay" INDEED!!!!!
Goodness. Oh, goodness, this gets my blood pumping! Spank Rock, you are the Saint of Booty-or should I say B.O.O.T.A.Y.-Shaking.
Goodness. Oh, goodness, this gets my blood pumping! Spank Rock, you are the Saint of Booty-or should I say B.O.O.T.A.Y.-Shaking.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Coconut Rum-A Man's Drink
Cocunut Rum is not a pussy drink. Coconut Rum is a real mans drink. Why? Because real men are in touch with their feelings. Real men aren't afraid to be honest and open about their feelings. Real men do what they want because they want to, not because their actions are socially accepted as "manly". Everyone loves the taste of Coconut Rum. Real Men are part of everyone. Ergo, Real Men love Coconut Rum.
To Belarus, With Love
Dear Belarus,
How are you doing? It's been a while, just wanted to check up, see how things were going. I saw that Lukashenko got reelected! That's great, he's good for you. Really, much better than Khrushchev ever was! Haha, just kidding.
I'm doing pretty good actually. We've been doing okay economically, getting a little better each day.
I just wanted to say too, that I'm sorry about how things ended. I really do love you. And I miss you. The USSR was nothing without you. I know you're on your own now, and you're happy, and you're doing great; and I don't want to try and change that. I just want you to know I never meant to hurt you, and I always loved you. I still do. My heart was just in the wrong place. It was a bad time for me. I thought I wanted something, but I didn't realize how wrong I was until I finally got it. I'm sorry I had to put you through that. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to open up to you about this. Honestly, I don't have a good reason for keeping silent all this time. I will say that I honestly regret not showing you how I felt for so long.
Again, I will always love you. You mean the world to me. I hope that someday, we can talk again. Someday, be as close as we once were.
With love,
Russia
How are you doing? It's been a while, just wanted to check up, see how things were going. I saw that Lukashenko got reelected! That's great, he's good for you. Really, much better than Khrushchev ever was! Haha, just kidding.
I'm doing pretty good actually. We've been doing okay economically, getting a little better each day.
I just wanted to say too, that I'm sorry about how things ended. I really do love you. And I miss you. The USSR was nothing without you. I know you're on your own now, and you're happy, and you're doing great; and I don't want to try and change that. I just want you to know I never meant to hurt you, and I always loved you. I still do. My heart was just in the wrong place. It was a bad time for me. I thought I wanted something, but I didn't realize how wrong I was until I finally got it. I'm sorry I had to put you through that. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to open up to you about this. Honestly, I don't have a good reason for keeping silent all this time. I will say that I honestly regret not showing you how I felt for so long.
Again, I will always love you. You mean the world to me. I hope that someday, we can talk again. Someday, be as close as we once were.
With love,
Russia
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Marcus Rubio
Marcus Rubio is an awesome friend and dude. He makes music and he has a music myspace. I shall speak of his greatness: he is an awesome friend and dude. He makes music and he has a music myspace. He is good at conversations and is interesting. He listens well and tells good stories. Friend him in your heart, and on your myspace. You shall not regret it. He has been my friend since the sixth grade, and distance has not dwindled our friendship. He is very supportive too. He has persuaded me to go on in spite of bitches and a-holes countless times, and I wrote an essay about him that got me into college.
Why? Because he rules.
Why? Because he rules.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Lilly Allen, Amy Winehouse
Lilly Allen makes Amy Winehouse look like Hillary Duff.
Oh the simpler days of Early 2006.
Oh the simpler days of Early 2006.
The Glittery Dildo Stories
This is a pitch for an english Project. I want to do it, but we have to present it, and I dont want to talk about dildos in front of 12 18-year-old girls.
For my final project I will be writing a series of stories, with a unifying object tying them all together. The unifying object will be a brand of dildo manufactured in Mexico during the turn of the 90’s. Considered one of the finest dildos of its time, but shut down due to faulty management, the object is one of the most sought after and expensive of its kind. However, due to its glittery appearance, it has been known to leave its mark.
My biggest inspiration for the project is Raymond Carver. His short stories are amazing. I was really inspired by the way he paints portraits of characters with such vivid scars and honesty, as well as his ability to make gripping stories about dull, everyday subject matter. His characters never aspire to anything that much greater than the life they have. Another author I enjoy the short stories of is Roald Dahl, who once said that short stories are harder to write than novels because in a short story, one bad sentence can ruin the entire work. I plan to take this to heart. I’d also like to write one of the stories in the style of Roald Dahl’s adult horror stories, such as “Skin” or “Taste”. The idea of doing very diverse stories from different literary genres, with only an object truly connecting them, sounds appealing, though I’ll probably scrape it in the end if it does not work out.
One of my goals in the project is to show the mundane qualities of taboo subject matters. I’m sure by the title of my project; most people will assume I’ve written erotic stories. My stories will not be about people having sex, but about how a sex object affects their lives afterwards. I aim not to arouse, but to explore life after the arousal.
One of my stories will be about a man named Kyle, who realizes that while he was away on business his wife “kept busy”. It’s an emotionally crushing experience for him, a man who has been entirely faithful to his wife. He does not even masturbate. Only his wife, and Kyle when he pees and puts on underwear, touches Kyle’s genitalia. Another story will focus on Kyle’s wife, Mary, and the anxiety she experiences trying to clean the glitter off of her vagina before her husband returns.
At first, I chose to use a glittery dildo because it was the first funny thing that popped into my head, and I liked the juxtaposition of those two words. But as I thought about it more, I decided that it was the perfect symbol of the mark sex leaves on us. While the act itself might be pure and fine, it practically leaves a mark for society to know to scorn a person. It’s my updated version of the red letter A from the Scarlet Letter.
For my final project I will be writing a series of stories, with a unifying object tying them all together. The unifying object will be a brand of dildo manufactured in Mexico during the turn of the 90’s. Considered one of the finest dildos of its time, but shut down due to faulty management, the object is one of the most sought after and expensive of its kind. However, due to its glittery appearance, it has been known to leave its mark.
My biggest inspiration for the project is Raymond Carver. His short stories are amazing. I was really inspired by the way he paints portraits of characters with such vivid scars and honesty, as well as his ability to make gripping stories about dull, everyday subject matter. His characters never aspire to anything that much greater than the life they have. Another author I enjoy the short stories of is Roald Dahl, who once said that short stories are harder to write than novels because in a short story, one bad sentence can ruin the entire work. I plan to take this to heart. I’d also like to write one of the stories in the style of Roald Dahl’s adult horror stories, such as “Skin” or “Taste”. The idea of doing very diverse stories from different literary genres, with only an object truly connecting them, sounds appealing, though I’ll probably scrape it in the end if it does not work out.
One of my goals in the project is to show the mundane qualities of taboo subject matters. I’m sure by the title of my project; most people will assume I’ve written erotic stories. My stories will not be about people having sex, but about how a sex object affects their lives afterwards. I aim not to arouse, but to explore life after the arousal.
One of my stories will be about a man named Kyle, who realizes that while he was away on business his wife “kept busy”. It’s an emotionally crushing experience for him, a man who has been entirely faithful to his wife. He does not even masturbate. Only his wife, and Kyle when he pees and puts on underwear, touches Kyle’s genitalia. Another story will focus on Kyle’s wife, Mary, and the anxiety she experiences trying to clean the glitter off of her vagina before her husband returns.
At first, I chose to use a glittery dildo because it was the first funny thing that popped into my head, and I liked the juxtaposition of those two words. But as I thought about it more, I decided that it was the perfect symbol of the mark sex leaves on us. While the act itself might be pure and fine, it practically leaves a mark for society to know to scorn a person. It’s my updated version of the red letter A from the Scarlet Letter.
Robyn
Robyn was fucking amazing.
It was seriously awesome.
Instead of an opening band, there was a DJ. Which is a really good idea. I'm tired of mediocore bands that are mildly interesting that end up giving me nothing but sore feet and back pain. This DJ was awesome. He even played Daft Punk, which I think is the number one rule of being a DJ: no matter how much you suck, if you play "one more time", you will redeem yourself. No matter how bad shit gets, if you play "one more time", people will dance.
I realized two things very soon:
1) there were a lot of gay men
2) gay men are tall
I could not see shit these gay men were so tall. It was a harsh reality I came to know all too fast: either dance and give up on my chance to actually see Robyn, or stand stil at an awkward angle on my tippy toes and take in her full Swedish glory. I switched it up.
I think if I'd worn the Hawaiian shirt I wore to school today I could've gotten a few drinks.
Robyn kicked ass. She has a real great pressence. It was pretty awesome, right before "Konitchiwa Bitches" she did a melody of songs, including "Sexual Eruption", "Push It", and kinda like "You Really GOt Me" but not really. She had two drummers and a keyboard player, and it rocked. They really added a lot to the show, lotta power I guess you could say. She's awesome. Did two versions of "Be Mine", the second for the second encore, just with piano. It was very beautiful, but the crowd was kind of obnoxious whenever she would sing ballads like "Eclipse". Also, covered Prince's "Jack U Off" for the first encore! It ruled.
I bet Ive said awesome 8 times. It's a little too late to think of synonyms.
The best thing about the night was the chance to test out some new dance moves, what with the Senior Ball approaching. Let's just say, I have a few in up my sleaves.
It was seriously awesome.
Instead of an opening band, there was a DJ. Which is a really good idea. I'm tired of mediocore bands that are mildly interesting that end up giving me nothing but sore feet and back pain. This DJ was awesome. He even played Daft Punk, which I think is the number one rule of being a DJ: no matter how much you suck, if you play "one more time", you will redeem yourself. No matter how bad shit gets, if you play "one more time", people will dance.
I realized two things very soon:
1) there were a lot of gay men
2) gay men are tall
I could not see shit these gay men were so tall. It was a harsh reality I came to know all too fast: either dance and give up on my chance to actually see Robyn, or stand stil at an awkward angle on my tippy toes and take in her full Swedish glory. I switched it up.
I think if I'd worn the Hawaiian shirt I wore to school today I could've gotten a few drinks.
Robyn kicked ass. She has a real great pressence. It was pretty awesome, right before "Konitchiwa Bitches" she did a melody of songs, including "Sexual Eruption", "Push It", and kinda like "You Really GOt Me" but not really. She had two drummers and a keyboard player, and it rocked. They really added a lot to the show, lotta power I guess you could say. She's awesome. Did two versions of "Be Mine", the second for the second encore, just with piano. It was very beautiful, but the crowd was kind of obnoxious whenever she would sing ballads like "Eclipse". Also, covered Prince's "Jack U Off" for the first encore! It ruled.
I bet Ive said awesome 8 times. It's a little too late to think of synonyms.
The best thing about the night was the chance to test out some new dance moves, what with the Senior Ball approaching. Let's just say, I have a few in up my sleaves.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Dilemna
I find myself in a very promosing situation.
In a short moment I will be embarking on a short road trip, about an hour in each direction, roughly enough time to listen to an entire album each way. My constant travelling companion will be staying home. That means-I have the car stereo to myself.
How shall I use this oportunity? The best idea is to listen to something my brother does not like. What, though, shall it be? There seems to be two options:
1) This is a perfect chance to listen to acts my brother hates: Liz Phair, Liars, Deerhunter, or Ted Leo's (Hearts of Oak(he likes Tyranny of Distances)).
2) Listen to something new that I haven't had a chance to listen to yet, such as: Sebadoh's III. Since my brother won't be there to complain if it sucks, this is a good use of time. However, if I dont enjoy this new music that I've chosen to listen to, I may have ultimately wasted time.
So really, one is the safest bet. But...I mean...there's no risk, but I know what I'm getting into. It's the argument Benja makes in that episode of Seinfeld where he takes Jerry to Mendy's and orders the soup.
In a short moment I will be embarking on a short road trip, about an hour in each direction, roughly enough time to listen to an entire album each way. My constant travelling companion will be staying home. That means-I have the car stereo to myself.
How shall I use this oportunity? The best idea is to listen to something my brother does not like. What, though, shall it be? There seems to be two options:
1) This is a perfect chance to listen to acts my brother hates: Liz Phair, Liars, Deerhunter, or Ted Leo's (Hearts of Oak(he likes Tyranny of Distances)).
2) Listen to something new that I haven't had a chance to listen to yet, such as: Sebadoh's III. Since my brother won't be there to complain if it sucks, this is a good use of time. However, if I dont enjoy this new music that I've chosen to listen to, I may have ultimately wasted time.
So really, one is the safest bet. But...I mean...there's no risk, but I know what I'm getting into. It's the argument Benja makes in that episode of Seinfeld where he takes Jerry to Mendy's and orders the soup.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Timmy Rocketeer
Yet another new video I made!
This one takes place in space. It was for a video production class Sci Fi unit.
This one takes place in space. It was for a video production class Sci Fi unit.
Monday, May 12, 2008
A Brief History of the Vietnam
There once was a country called Vietnam. The country is still called Vietnam, but it has not contributed anything of substance or interest since.
Now Vietnam was a fucking bitch. Selfish, ego-centric...inflated sense of self-importance. Just a total bitch, who was lucky enough to be in a relationship with the United States. And this was the U.S. in the 60's: everyone wanted a piece of the US back then. Sure, it was popular to say you didn't want it, but everyone knew they would drop anything or anyone to get with the U.S.
Now Vietnam had a pretty good thing going with the US, who was WAY out of Vietnam's league. But did Vietnam appreciate the US? NO, the stupid bitch. She thought she was better than the US. Basically, Vietnam started doing some pretty awful shit to itself. And the US was like, "Babe, you're out of control, you need to stop!" And Vietnam was like, "Blah blah blah, F-OFF, DONT TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE!! I DO WHAT I WANT WHENEVER I WANT." So then they started fighting. And it got pretty bad.
At first everyone was behind the US. But then it started going on for a really long time. People started wondering why the US was still going at it. Why would a country that so clearly better than another country waste so much time on that country, when it could easily move on? Was it trying to prove a point? Was that point worth proving?
Finally, the U.S. admitted that it was stupid to go after that bitch Vietnam. The U.S. lost took a huge blow to its reputation after that. And much to no ones surprise, Slutty Vietnam almost destroyed itself. Since then, the U.S. has been in a very successful relationship with a very successful country, England. The U.S. has also flirted with some other hot countries, including a very tumultuous affair with Iraq, which did not go well either. Vietnam is still a whore.
Now Vietnam was a fucking bitch. Selfish, ego-centric...inflated sense of self-importance. Just a total bitch, who was lucky enough to be in a relationship with the United States. And this was the U.S. in the 60's: everyone wanted a piece of the US back then. Sure, it was popular to say you didn't want it, but everyone knew they would drop anything or anyone to get with the U.S.
Now Vietnam had a pretty good thing going with the US, who was WAY out of Vietnam's league. But did Vietnam appreciate the US? NO, the stupid bitch. She thought she was better than the US. Basically, Vietnam started doing some pretty awful shit to itself. And the US was like, "Babe, you're out of control, you need to stop!" And Vietnam was like, "Blah blah blah, F-OFF, DONT TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE!! I DO WHAT I WANT WHENEVER I WANT." So then they started fighting. And it got pretty bad.
At first everyone was behind the US. But then it started going on for a really long time. People started wondering why the US was still going at it. Why would a country that so clearly better than another country waste so much time on that country, when it could easily move on? Was it trying to prove a point? Was that point worth proving?
Finally, the U.S. admitted that it was stupid to go after that bitch Vietnam. The U.S. lost took a huge blow to its reputation after that. And much to no ones surprise, Slutty Vietnam almost destroyed itself. Since then, the U.S. has been in a very successful relationship with a very successful country, England. The U.S. has also flirted with some other hot countries, including a very tumultuous affair with Iraq, which did not go well either. Vietnam is still a whore.
Trails
TRAILS
You can't hide your trails. No matter how hard you try, people are going to find them. But if you make fake trails that lead people in the opposite direction-you may just die another day.
You can't hide your trails. No matter how hard you try, people are going to find them. But if you make fake trails that lead people in the opposite direction-you may just die another day.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
DAD
I waited 18 years to get to a point where my dad would talk about his sexual escapades. It was worth it.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Treeway
I made this! And I'm excited because it's on youtube. And a little freaked out that five people saw it before I even knew it had properly loaded.
Billy Joel
I want to live in a Billy Joel music video. I'm tired of all the bullshit in my life, I just want to walk around with four other guys, snapping our fingers, harmonizing, singing about girls, choreographing dances-keeping it real.
Is this how Billy Joel lives his daily life, or only in music videos? Because if this is a day in the life of BJ* I want to be a part of it. I've seen every episode of Entourage, I know how this works. I'm willing to be a supportive friend to BJ, but only if supporting Billy Joel entails song and dance.
What's great is every Billy Joel music video appears to have the same set-up. "Billy is (insert place). Four of his friends show up singing. He thinks, "WHOA, what are my friends doing here!?!?!?! Singing? Well okay!" Billy Joel never questions whether he should sing or not. For Billy Joel, the answer is always yes.
*the nickname only BJ's best friends call him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F-nt7aC_JQ&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smeyf8nhM5Q&NR=1
Is this how Billy Joel lives his daily life, or only in music videos? Because if this is a day in the life of BJ* I want to be a part of it. I've seen every episode of Entourage, I know how this works. I'm willing to be a supportive friend to BJ, but only if supporting Billy Joel entails song and dance.
What's great is every Billy Joel music video appears to have the same set-up. "Billy is (insert place). Four of his friends show up singing. He thinks, "WHOA, what are my friends doing here!?!?!?! Singing? Well okay!" Billy Joel never questions whether he should sing or not. For Billy Joel, the answer is always yes.
*the nickname only BJ's best friends call him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F-nt7aC_JQ&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smeyf8nhM5Q&NR=1
Monday, May 5, 2008
John Mayer: the Scott Walker of Our Time?
Sure it's way too early to predict such a thing. But who knows?
The similarities are quite profound:
1. Both worshipped othe musicians. Scott Walker worshipped Jacques Brel in the early days of his career; John Mayer worships Jim Hendrix.
2. Both have brown hair. Scott's hair has a goldish tint to it, while John's hair has a hint of black.
3. Both play music. Scott Walker sings. John Mayer also sings.
Sure, some might say John Mayer writes "fluffy crap for 12 year old girls". Sure, even the best of his music pales in comparison to the worst song on Scott Walker 2. And sure, odds are John Mayer will spend the later years of his life sleeping with girls who were huge fans of him when they were 12 year old girls and have since become unbelievably busty. But honestly, if anyone's going to make astounding, gut wrenching, avante garde/experimental music, I'm rooting for the guy who wrote "Your Body is a Wonderland".
Is the difference that significant?
The similarities are quite profound:
1. Both worshipped othe musicians. Scott Walker worshipped Jacques Brel in the early days of his career; John Mayer worships Jim Hendrix.
2. Both have brown hair. Scott's hair has a goldish tint to it, while John's hair has a hint of black.
3. Both play music. Scott Walker sings. John Mayer also sings.
Sure, some might say John Mayer writes "fluffy crap for 12 year old girls". Sure, even the best of his music pales in comparison to the worst song on Scott Walker 2. And sure, odds are John Mayer will spend the later years of his life sleeping with girls who were huge fans of him when they were 12 year old girls and have since become unbelievably busty. But honestly, if anyone's going to make astounding, gut wrenching, avante garde/experimental music, I'm rooting for the guy who wrote "Your Body is a Wonderland".
Is the difference that significant?
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Jet Blue
Sometimes, how much my mom loves me surprises me. I always know she loves me, but sometimes she does things that make me think, "WOW, she really does care about me." Today is one such day.
I'm flying home for Christmas this year. Many moms buy their sons plane tickets. But how many moms fly their oldest son home in style? Not many moms are committed to having their son travel on the Rolls Royce of Commercial Airlines.
I'm talking about Jet Blue. I don't know the specifics, but I'm pretty sure it's considered the most erotic plane flight money can buy, easily the Sexiest Airline in existance. It's like Soul Plane for white people. All the flight attendants are former German fashion models. While you might spend your next flight washing your hands with old fashion water, I'll be a thousand miles high cleaning the barbeque sauce off my hands with Vodka. If that seems excessive, you obviously have no right to fly Jet Blue; frankly you're better off flying with your in-bred family of hicks on American Airlines, or maybe just Virgin Airlines, which takes Delusions of Grandeur farther than the most ridiculous passages of Don Quixote.
Yes, my mom is pretty fond of me. I plan to show her that I care just as much for her this weekend, for Mothers Day. I'm buying her an Ice Cream cake that says "Mom".
I'm flying home for Christmas this year. Many moms buy their sons plane tickets. But how many moms fly their oldest son home in style? Not many moms are committed to having their son travel on the Rolls Royce of Commercial Airlines.
I'm talking about Jet Blue. I don't know the specifics, but I'm pretty sure it's considered the most erotic plane flight money can buy, easily the Sexiest Airline in existance. It's like Soul Plane for white people. All the flight attendants are former German fashion models. While you might spend your next flight washing your hands with old fashion water, I'll be a thousand miles high cleaning the barbeque sauce off my hands with Vodka. If that seems excessive, you obviously have no right to fly Jet Blue; frankly you're better off flying with your in-bred family of hicks on American Airlines, or maybe just Virgin Airlines, which takes Delusions of Grandeur farther than the most ridiculous passages of Don Quixote.
Yes, my mom is pretty fond of me. I plan to show her that I care just as much for her this weekend, for Mothers Day. I'm buying her an Ice Cream cake that says "Mom".
Origin of Love
Watching this, it's impossible to not think about how much this film changed my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)