I slept so long yesterday, it was surreal.
And then I woke up and found out my brother had been in a car accident. Luckily he is fine. Our friend Marissa was in the car, and she had to go to the emergency room though. She's fine now though. The car is destroyed though. It's such an old car it's not worth fixing is the thing that it is.
Do you ever just take a second to look back and feel glad you no longer have to do timed writings on Oedipus Rex or Pride and Prejudice? It's nice.
I made a joke on twitter that people are liking, that feels good. It's topical. So that's good. It was, "Damn girl, I better step away before you give me FINE flu!"
Monday is a terrible day to be horny. Is horniness at all related to lack of sleep? Seriously! Let's figure that out!
Well since I just woke it's time I get my day started.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sam I Miami
So it is late!
It was hot today! SO HOT! GOD! I couldn't sleep it was so hot.
I went to the Met today. That was a lot of fun. Fuck I am distracted right now, maybe two red bulls was not a good idea. Granted I am awake, but I don't feel as focused as Red Bull promised I would be.
I am in dire need of some closure. Seriously! Also, I am in dire need of certain people to stop creating conflict for everyone I know. It's like come on! Just don't! Ya know? Granted maybe this stems out of their need for closure.
Yeah, this definitely feels like the seventh inning stretch.
I guess my biggest gripe with going home for the summer is that I feel like I've grown and changed so much, and going back would just go against all of that. I want to be here, I want to take Shannon O Neill's 301, I want to go to summer ASSSSCATs and harold nights. But on the other hand it is pretty fucking hot, and I am seriously missing In N out burger, not to mention my family.
Actually, the more I think about it, long distances relationships are not that hard. But being long distances from the food you love? You can't call a hamburger on the phone. You can look at pictures of it, but that isn't satisfying. No, real relationships are more than about looking at someone.
So in my world, eating food=talking with loved one, looking at pictures of food=masturbating.
There's a chance I might be able to get one of the members of Steely Dan in my final Sound Image project. That is if my teacher actually does know them, and if I ask her. I probably won't. But I might.
In other news, I like a girl! She is the greatest. I met her the first week of this semester and was instantly blown away. But I was convinced nothing could happen, she just seemed to great. Finally with a week and a half of school left we've started kind of hanging out. Shitty timing on my part, but as long as it happened! I'm actually not sure where it's going. I know where I want it to go though!
Kanye's right, you gotta keep your love lockdown.
It was hot today! SO HOT! GOD! I couldn't sleep it was so hot.
I went to the Met today. That was a lot of fun. Fuck I am distracted right now, maybe two red bulls was not a good idea. Granted I am awake, but I don't feel as focused as Red Bull promised I would be.
I am in dire need of some closure. Seriously! Also, I am in dire need of certain people to stop creating conflict for everyone I know. It's like come on! Just don't! Ya know? Granted maybe this stems out of their need for closure.
Yeah, this definitely feels like the seventh inning stretch.
I guess my biggest gripe with going home for the summer is that I feel like I've grown and changed so much, and going back would just go against all of that. I want to be here, I want to take Shannon O Neill's 301, I want to go to summer ASSSSCATs and harold nights. But on the other hand it is pretty fucking hot, and I am seriously missing In N out burger, not to mention my family.
Actually, the more I think about it, long distances relationships are not that hard. But being long distances from the food you love? You can't call a hamburger on the phone. You can look at pictures of it, but that isn't satisfying. No, real relationships are more than about looking at someone.
So in my world, eating food=talking with loved one, looking at pictures of food=masturbating.
There's a chance I might be able to get one of the members of Steely Dan in my final Sound Image project. That is if my teacher actually does know them, and if I ask her. I probably won't. But I might.
In other news, I like a girl! She is the greatest. I met her the first week of this semester and was instantly blown away. But I was convinced nothing could happen, she just seemed to great. Finally with a week and a half of school left we've started kind of hanging out. Shitty timing on my part, but as long as it happened! I'm actually not sure where it's going. I know where I want it to go though!
Kanye's right, you gotta keep your love lockdown.
Friday, April 24, 2009
BASS!
hey dolphins!
What's happening!
Man, this is going to be a strange weekend! Hopefully great though!
I have to go to two museums! And then I also want to go see a lot of improv. I'm going to Gethard's Magic Box of Stories tonight, maybe the Stepfathers right after that, the Room at the Cinema East Village at midnight. Then I'll be up in the cloisters on Saturday, then hopefully seeing Reuben Williams at night.
The damn powers that be took down my Crazy on You video. Sadly I don't have any way to put it back up! The file was on my school computer a year ago. There is no way in hell it's still there. To cope, I plan to reshoot it. I'm going to go all out for this one! There will be some nice costumes, let's just say. I just need a DP. Or do I? I shot the last one without a DP. Hmm......I guess I'll have to get a tripod!
What's happening!
Man, this is going to be a strange weekend! Hopefully great though!
I have to go to two museums! And then I also want to go see a lot of improv. I'm going to Gethard's Magic Box of Stories tonight, maybe the Stepfathers right after that, the Room at the Cinema East Village at midnight. Then I'll be up in the cloisters on Saturday, then hopefully seeing Reuben Williams at night.
The damn powers that be took down my Crazy on You video. Sadly I don't have any way to put it back up! The file was on my school computer a year ago. There is no way in hell it's still there. To cope, I plan to reshoot it. I'm going to go all out for this one! There will be some nice costumes, let's just say. I just need a DP. Or do I? I shot the last one without a DP. Hmm......I guess I'll have to get a tripod!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Broken Glass
I really need to make 3 Chearleaders. OR wait no, it was 3 guys who think they are girls in a 70's Porno. I'll cast Doug Widdick and Bowen Yang and myself. Comedy sparks will fly. So many sparks people will be like "what are all these sparks doing around here? Jason Statham must have needed to charge his heart!"
Jay Reatard-Night of Broken Glass
I've been really into Steve Martin lately. Ever since Spring Break when I bought comedy isn't pretty, I just can't handle how much of a genius he is. I just watched Bowfinger-it's incredible!!! And LA Story should be coming in the mail tomorrow via Netflix. That is if they don't screw me over! I was supposed to get it a week ago, but it never came. I had to report a shipping problem. I thought I was jumping the gun, but since it still hasn't arrived I was so money. So money. SO MONEY!!! MONEY!!!!
Tomorrow I have another interview for the internship I really want.
I need to end this year on a positive romantic note. But can something wonderful and meaningful happen in two weeks? Or am I crazy? Should I wait until next year? What if I like someone who lives in a city that's pretty close to New York, where I might be staying over the summer? She'd be reasonably close, right? It wouldn't be that weird, right?
I do like someone right now. She rules! It took me a whole semester to do something about, mostly out of fear. I really have grown a lot this year. I mean, to grow you have to hit rock bottom. You have to do those reprehensible things. Well, I guess you don't have to do them. I won't tell my kids, "make sure you drink heavily one night and make out with your good friends ex-girlfriend so you feel really bad about it and only do it once." But it happens. If there's one thing I've learned from Wenders films, people do terrible things. Everyone does. They just do. But the great people don't seak to redeem themselves, they seek to right the things they have wrong. They reunite the families they broke up; they return the drug money; the father the son who they never knew.
It's also really crazy to me that I did a fucking improv show at the Players Theatre. I mean, everyone who takes a UCB class gets a class show at UCB. And I am incredibly proud of my UCB 101 show! But the fact that I did something independently is almost even more empowering.
But yeah, I need to end on a good romantic note.
Jay Reatard-Night of Broken Glass
I've been really into Steve Martin lately. Ever since Spring Break when I bought comedy isn't pretty, I just can't handle how much of a genius he is. I just watched Bowfinger-it's incredible!!! And LA Story should be coming in the mail tomorrow via Netflix. That is if they don't screw me over! I was supposed to get it a week ago, but it never came. I had to report a shipping problem. I thought I was jumping the gun, but since it still hasn't arrived I was so money. So money. SO MONEY!!! MONEY!!!!
Tomorrow I have another interview for the internship I really want.
I need to end this year on a positive romantic note. But can something wonderful and meaningful happen in two weeks? Or am I crazy? Should I wait until next year? What if I like someone who lives in a city that's pretty close to New York, where I might be staying over the summer? She'd be reasonably close, right? It wouldn't be that weird, right?
I do like someone right now. She rules! It took me a whole semester to do something about, mostly out of fear. I really have grown a lot this year. I mean, to grow you have to hit rock bottom. You have to do those reprehensible things. Well, I guess you don't have to do them. I won't tell my kids, "make sure you drink heavily one night and make out with your good friends ex-girlfriend so you feel really bad about it and only do it once." But it happens. If there's one thing I've learned from Wenders films, people do terrible things. Everyone does. They just do. But the great people don't seak to redeem themselves, they seek to right the things they have wrong. They reunite the families they broke up; they return the drug money; the father the son who they never knew.
It's also really crazy to me that I did a fucking improv show at the Players Theatre. I mean, everyone who takes a UCB class gets a class show at UCB. And I am incredibly proud of my UCB 101 show! But the fact that I did something independently is almost even more empowering.
But yeah, I need to end on a good romantic note.
Parallax and Garugamesh
Hey Dolphins!
Today I bring you two videos. The first is of my own creation.
This second video I bring you is the video I can't get out of my head. Seriously, this thing has done a great deal of healing today. I went through the worst experience today, and this, in addition to talking with my best friends, is the only reason I didn't buy a dildo and throw it in the Hudson River/smoke a cigarette for the first time.
I don't know why I considered buying a dildo and throwing it in the Hudson River. It was the first crazy thing I thought of. Jake suggested walking to China town or smoking for the first time.
Well to save time I didn't buy a dildo, and I didn't walk to Chinatown or the Hudson River. I watched this video.
Today I bring you two videos. The first is of my own creation.
This second video I bring you is the video I can't get out of my head. Seriously, this thing has done a great deal of healing today. I went through the worst experience today, and this, in addition to talking with my best friends, is the only reason I didn't buy a dildo and throw it in the Hudson River/smoke a cigarette for the first time.
I don't know why I considered buying a dildo and throwing it in the Hudson River. It was the first crazy thing I thought of. Jake suggested walking to China town or smoking for the first time.
Well to save time I didn't buy a dildo, and I didn't walk to Chinatown or the Hudson River. I watched this video.
Bowfinger rules!
I had no idea people still read this blog.
Will I ever learn to be careful with online journals? No.
Remember Livejournal? Wait no, this goes even beyond that. Remember journal space? Well I'll never forget the time that I found out my friend Bucky Brooks had made a journal space, and every entry was about how much he hated me for breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. This was in 8th grade. It was pretty intense, but also really funny because so much time had passed. The posts were at least a year old by the time I finally read them, and yet I thought Bucky and I were totally fine the entire time.
And then at the end of 9th grade I wrote a livejournal entry about not liking Liam Neisen's performance in Batman Begins. That launched into a huge debate too.
And then a couple of days ago, Chris Gethard was mocked on morrissey-solo.com for his tattoo. So I launched in to defend him. Sure enough, I was called lame and implied to be a loser.
I guess I worry that as the world becomes increasingly more internet driven, we will find ourselves in more and more arguments. Is that was this thing is for, fighting? If someone says they dislike Wes Anderson in a dining hall, and you love Wes Anderson, chances are you are going to politely disagree. And yet when this conversation takes place over the internet it becomes long and vicious. Granted, part of this has to due with the ability to be anonymous on the internet. We can post anonymously on message boards.
We all have things that infuriate us about others, and the internet allows us to express that.
Will I ever learn to be careful with online journals? No.
Remember Livejournal? Wait no, this goes even beyond that. Remember journal space? Well I'll never forget the time that I found out my friend Bucky Brooks had made a journal space, and every entry was about how much he hated me for breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. This was in 8th grade. It was pretty intense, but also really funny because so much time had passed. The posts were at least a year old by the time I finally read them, and yet I thought Bucky and I were totally fine the entire time.
And then at the end of 9th grade I wrote a livejournal entry about not liking Liam Neisen's performance in Batman Begins. That launched into a huge debate too.
And then a couple of days ago, Chris Gethard was mocked on morrissey-solo.com for his tattoo. So I launched in to defend him. Sure enough, I was called lame and implied to be a loser.
I guess I worry that as the world becomes increasingly more internet driven, we will find ourselves in more and more arguments. Is that was this thing is for, fighting? If someone says they dislike Wes Anderson in a dining hall, and you love Wes Anderson, chances are you are going to politely disagree. And yet when this conversation takes place over the internet it becomes long and vicious. Granted, part of this has to due with the ability to be anonymous on the internet. We can post anonymously on message boards.
We all have things that infuriate us about others, and the internet allows us to express that.
Monday, April 13, 2009
So You're Thinking About Burrying Your Bone in a Girl's Front Yard
A friend of mine recently asked me I could be so good with woman. This entry is for him:
The first step of getting a girl to like is easily the simplest: make her think you're afraid of her. I'm not talking about "afraid you're in love" or "afraid of your feelings". I'm talking legitimate fear. Trust you me, you will never get any girl in your bed if she doesn't think you shit your pants every time you see her. If you look at her, and she doesn't think, "wow, this reminds me of what I would look like if I talked to a vampire", find a bridge and live under it.
Unfortunately that's all the advice I have time for today! But stay tuned!
The first step of getting a girl to like is easily the simplest: make her think you're afraid of her. I'm not talking about "afraid you're in love" or "afraid of your feelings". I'm talking legitimate fear. Trust you me, you will never get any girl in your bed if she doesn't think you shit your pants every time you see her. If you look at her, and she doesn't think, "wow, this reminds me of what I would look like if I talked to a vampire", find a bridge and live under it.
Unfortunately that's all the advice I have time for today! But stay tuned!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Happy Passover, Jake!
My roommate went home for Passover today, and I can't lie, I miss him.
So in honor of him, I decided to take a shit on his bed.
So in honor of him, I decided to take a shit on his bed.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Funny Hat of the Week
In honor of my mom, I'm going to start posting a funny hat of the week. Each week, I will be showcasing a new funny hat I find on the streets of New York.
The first funny hat was a gift from my mom. This funny hat is perfect for a visit to Scotland, a visit to the home of Scottish friends, a dinner at a Scottish restaurant, a Halloween party, a Scottish party, or even just a day with Scottish overtones.
The hat is funny because it implies the person wearing the hat has long red hair, and is Scottish. To heighten the comedic effect, it is best worn by a person who is neither Scottish or red headed (though a red headed Scottish person could wear this hat for the sake of ironic laughter).
FINAL VERDICT: this is a really funny hat that will definitely bring a few laughs to anyone you meet.
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