I did not watch the Oscars. Instead I decided to have fun.

But when I got back from doing things that are enjoyable, I noticed that the Oscars were about the only thing anyone twitted about while I was away (being happy). As a result, I realized I not only had a much better time than everyone who watched the Oscars, but I now also know everything there is worth remembering about the Oscars via twitter. Such as:
1. Its bullshit Sean Penn won
2. Sophia Lauren was there
3. Beyonce was associated with something boring
4. Adrien Brody did something very cunt-y

This note could have been a lot shorter and gotten the same message across if I just said "if you watched the Oscars fuck you."