Bermuda Triangle

I decided to write a sketch a day from now on, at least until February 19th.

This is a sketch I just finished, and by just finished I mean wrote a first draft of it. Love it like a child with bad acne, who could one day clear up and go on a date with a girl to a terrible Rob Schneider movie.

PAUL carries LISA into a bedroom.
PAUL
Well Mrs. Kamin, here we are.
LISA
Why thank you, Mr. Kamin.
PAUL
Time to get our freak on!
LISA
(laughs) oh you’re so funny! You when I was a little girl I never thought I would be spending my honeymoon in the Bermuda Triangle, but…here we are!
PAUL
Can you believe it! (beat) say honey, since we’re in the Bermuda…TRIANGLE, and all…maybe we should have a THREEway!
LISA
(beat) Oh you are nothing but a houndog!
PAUL
Woof woof!
LISA
Oh you are nasty!
PAUL
I’ll tell you what’s not nasty, A Bermuda Sex Triangle!
LISA
Well should we go check out the cruise’s buffet?
PAUL
Only if by buffet you mean hot tail for our Bermuda Sex Triangle?
LISA
Paul are you trying to get me to agree to a threeway?
PAUL
No! Not a threeway. A Bermuda Sex Triangle. You know, because…we’re in the Bermuda Triangle.
LISA
Paul why in the world would I want to spend my Honeymoon in a threeway…
PAUL
Bermuda Sex Triangle…
LISA
Bermuda Sex Triangle with you and some tramp we met on a cruise?
PAUL
Lisa, Lisa, I would never…huh, you know what I just realized that’s really funny?
LISA
What?
PAUL
Well I said Lisa, comma, Lisa, but it sounded like Lisa Lisa, lead vocalist of Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam, one of the original American freestyle music groups of the 1980’s, who oddly enough…consisted of 3 people! How odd is it that I should coincidentally mention one of the most important groups of the 1980s, which consisted of THREE members, while on vacation with my beautiful wife in the Bermuda TRIANGLE. (Beat) There are three sides to a triangle.
LISA
Oh my god I can’t believe you! Are you
PAUL
Okay. Great. (Pause) Look honey there’s something else I need to tell you…
LISA
let me just put my suitcase in the closet.
PAUL
Wait what? Oh no let me-
LISA opens the closet. A DEAD HOOKER falls out.
LISA
when were you going to tell me this?
PAUL
I was waiting for you to say “if only hookers weren’t so hard to strangle.”