Don Henley

What the fuck, Don Henley?




So I try going to iTunes to buy "The Boys of Summer", the only good song you've ever released on your own. But can I find it? No. All you have on iTunes is 6 songs from your 2000 album Inside Job? Seriously, what the fuck Don Henley?

Who do you think you are? Do you honestly feel like your solo catalogue stands up there with the works of the Beatles, and Radiohead? With them, I understand, they made great albums and they don't want people to just download one or two songs from them. They don't want people to just buy "Karma Police" or "Norwegian Wood". They are artists who don't want to sell off their works piece by piece.

But come on, you're Don Fucking Henley! Do you really think anyone deserves to listen to whatever entire album "Boys of Summer" came from? You are the epitome of a bland solo career.

Your previous band the Eagles allows users to download songs from their albums off iTunes. And while they suck just as much as you on your own, at least they have more than one good song (In my opinion-2). They aren't fooling themselves, they admit their inability to make at least 12 good songs in a two year span.

Even the titles to your songs suck.
"All She Wants to Do Is Dance"? I'm so sorry for you, Don Henley.
"End of Innocence"? Whoa whoa whoa, Innocence ends?
"the Garden Of Allah"?
"Everybody Knows". What is the next line, "that I suck"?

But oh no, you Don Henley, you are a greedy bastard. You know that if people could only pay 99 cents for "the Boys of Summer", instead of 17 dollars for your "Greatest Hits" (I use quotation marks not because it's a title but because I'm mocking him), that cocaine mountain you ski down every morning would get smaller every day, huh?

So what is it Don Henley? Are you just overzealous and in denial, or a greedy motherfucker?

Because seriously Don, by some miracle, "boys of summer" is amazing. It's a song of such unbearable beauty, it leaves the listener feeling like they can overcome any obstacle. It could have stopped Vietnam had it arrived sooner. There are starving children in Africa that could become U.S. Senators if they could afford your overpriced 17 dollar "Greatest Hits". But nope, I guess these kids are just going to have to waste their 99 cents on some useless AIDS vaccine.

You, Don Henley, are a selfish motherfucker responsible for dying African children.