Sometimes

I was wasting away in front of a computer one day at school, and by some random chance, ended up watching this Britney Spears music video. 3 minutes and 52 seconds later, I was fighting off tears and watching the "Boys Don't Cry" music video.

It all goes back to third grade. I was going to my friend Spencer's house after school. His ridiculously hot mom picked us up. Now That's What I Call Music Vol. 3 playing on the speakers, Spencer asked his mom to play track 3-"What's My Age Again?". Before that moment, music was completely absent from my life, aside a brief period of time from the ages five to seven where I really liked "Barbara Ann" and a Pointer Sisters song I don't know the name of.I am not ashamed to admit that hearing Mark Hoppus sing "We started making out/and she took off her pants/and then I started watching the TV" restored my faith and interest in music.

I decided I needed to buy this Now cd, because let's face it, That was what I called music! What was probably either the next day or the most iminent weekend, my dad bought it for me at the Sam Goody in the mall-the same Sam Goody where one year later an employee would recomend my mom not to buy Eminem's the Marshall Matters LP due to its explicit and homophobic lyrics.

Within days, Now! Vol. 3 had opened me up to a world they called Music. I suddenly felt like I was pretty educated on what was cool at the times. While most of my chums were talking to their parents on the drive home, I busied myself memorizing the words to Limp Bizkit's "Nookie", digging through the dense sonic landscape of Smash Mouth's "All Star", and putting my brain to the grind trying to understand the biting social commentary of Enrique Iglesias's "Bailamos".

However, there was one song in particular that completely swept me off my feet-"Sometimes". One year later, this song completely captured how I felt about Natalie Ahmadi, the most beautiful girl in my whole fourth grade class. While I found myself unstoppably in love with Natalie, I couldn't help but feel frightened by her. The thought of talking to her seemed heavenly, but when confronted with her in reality I wanted to anywhere else. Just like Britney, sometimes I ran, sometimes I hid, sometimes I was scared of her, but all i really wanted was to hold her tight, treat her right, be with her day and night. All I needed was time, baby. Britney captured everything I was going through in 4th grade.

But the more I listened to "Sometimes", the more I fell for someone else: Britney Spears. We would be perfect together! We were both afraid of commitment, but also, we both had a ton of love to give. She seemed to understand me, and I understood her. I bought her album, and a poster for my room. But not to beat off to, but like how guys in World War II hang pictures of their girlfriend above their wall, as a reason to keep fighting.

When I was younger, I made a pledge to myself that the first woman I saw naked, I would marry (I decided not to count a flier of a hooker I saw on the ground outside the Game Works in Las Vegas in 4th grade or those random times I accidentally walking in on my mom changing). After stumbling across a game on eBaulms World, Dress Britney Spears, I realized something: "I have to marry Britney Spears". I then thought, "My godmother (a nun) would be ashamed of me."

Time passed. Mainly through the show Friends, I learned many adults see many other adults naked before they get married. But as I matured, I couldn't help but notice a change in Britney. As the years rolled on by, it seemed like lost interest in wearing clothes. Every time I saw her, she was naked or making out with Madonna.

It was just her image that had changed either. The innocent girl that was sang about having unbearable crushes and being in love was gone. Now, she just wanted to fuck. She wanted to be a guy's slave, and she wanted him to hit her too.

By this point, I had moved on from Britney. I had a girlfriend named Chelsea. I was in a good place.

But years later, watching the "Sometimes" music video, with Britney's current day to day problems, I can't help but feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend. This video made me realize that the sweet girl I fell in love with and connected with like no other human being has died, and a coked-up sex whore has stollen her identity.

Fuck You Fate.